Compare & Contrast

Compare & contrast. I can't even remember how many times throughout my many years of school I was asked to do that. Papers, tests and homework assignments almost always included this task. And I became pretty good at seeing how two things were alike and how they were different. And I always felt one was better than the other. Even though that may not have been the case, I always felt that there needed to be a definitive answer. I mean, how could there not be an answer? One is a winner and one is a loser, right? That makes sense. That makes things settled. That completes it.

All of the comparing and contrasting I did for so many years has really become a bad habit that I continue to use in my everyday life. Are there appropriate times for this to be used? Sure. But when it becomes a constant part of how you think, it can be an extremely dangerous thing. When you look at others to see how you measure up to them, one of you will always be the winner and one will always be the loser. At least, that's how it has been in my mind. And I've come to realize that rather than embracing who I am and what God has blessed me with, I've been comparing it to what others have been blessed with. And as a result, I've been coming up very short! I've been getting down on myself for not being as pretty as this one, or as skinny as that one, or as smart as this other one, or as fun as someone else. For some reason, they are all better than me. In my mind, when I compare myself with someone else, I always come out on the bottom.

As I walked around the track (yes, again!) with a friend tonight, she was talking about her life, things she wanted to do, places she wanted to go, and do you know what my first thought was? "Man, I wish I could be like that! Carefree and spontaneous, fun and adventurous. No wonder she has so many friends. I'm just too practical to even think that way. I can't do anything without planning. No wonder no one thinks I'm fun or carefree." And the more she talked, the more these thoughts went round and round in my head. Until I started to express them out loud. As I said these things out loud, I began to realize how much I have been comparing myself to other for pretty much my whole life. And how ridiculous it is. I was beating myself up for not being like someone else. In essence, I was beating myself up for being me! And when you say it like that, it just sounds stupid.

I believe that God created each and every person on this earth unique for a special purpose. So why does there have to be a winner? Why does someone always have to be better then someone else? Why can't we all just appreciate the differences in others instead of comparing ourselves and feeling like we don't measure up? And by we, I mean me of course. It all starts with me. I need to stop thinking that I'm not as good as other people. I need to start looking at myself and seeing what God sees. I want to look around me and see the differences in everyone, but not feel the need to answer the question of who is better. Just simply to thank God for the uniqueness in all of us. I think that's where it starts. Thank Him for making me who I am, despite what I like and don't like. There is a purpose to everyone and everything about them, even me. And thankfully I am beginning to see that now.